just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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