SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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