Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I want her autograph on my taint
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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