I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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