yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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