I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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