I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
