I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
