why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
