i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
