North Korea, Best Korea!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
