Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
