I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
