The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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