Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
