Sry I called you an 8
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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