# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
