Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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