You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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