um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
