We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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