And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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