btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't want my vagina anymore.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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