Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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