He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
