You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
