do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
