dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
