the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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