so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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