That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
