of course. lets lasso hookers.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
