i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
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