you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
