She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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