he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i out mim tonsoeep
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
