ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
dude. I can hear the air.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
