But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
