im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
