I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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