i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
