I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Is it because I queefed?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
