I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
