I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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