thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
