So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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