U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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