He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And then my night got REAL pukey
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
