Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Two words: blizzard sex
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
