Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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