Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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