When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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